Observing all of my sensation from the middle of a forrest. Questioning the stillness, if there is really stillness. Focusing on the breath, slowing the mind. Considering the action of the breeze placed upon the branches. Sounds emanating from the earth and the taste of the warm wet dense foliage. How the mind dances around the unknown answers to the presented question of every single moment.
I met this hound dog when I was in treatment for PTSD last year in Topeka KS VA Medical center. She happened to be the same breed I was raised with coon hunting on the Mississippi river bottoms. I visited her every week and when she went to the vet for a surgery I had a panic attach. I told the pet shop how much she meant to me and they wanted to give her to me. The problem was a lot of strings attached to this giving. Every time they pulled a string I felt my trauma increase and every time I let go my trauma relaxed. She taught me the power my trauma had over me and how it had pushed me to attempt taking my life 3 times previously. She taught me the power of letting go and in the end I let go of her because she had done what she came here to do. Teach me a very valuable lesson. The power of letting go. Now I try my best to share the tools of mindfulness meditation practice that starts with the breath and ends with letting go. Mindfully working with 5 sensation and the mind. What a profound experience nudged by a dog.
Why the obstacle of love shows up in the form of distance, health , physical attraction, education, income, etc.
The heart knows no sensation other than feeling. Feelings know none of the above ideas placed in the mind through the eyes, ears, nose, and mouth. Yet we give credence to the mind nearly 100% of the time disregarding the true self that leads us to our best self and allows us to become the whole self we were intended to be from the very start.
Seeing, Tasting, Touching, Smelling, Hearing, and the mind. These sensations bring information into the brain process that information and decide what to do with it.
The airport is like a dust storm flooding the senses. Through the breath these particles become a slow motion picture enabling us to sift through decide and discern the act or action if any needed in the moment. Observing becomes the most useful tool overlooked without focusing on the breath.
Always grasping outside ourself for internal struggle seems to be backward but I guess its human nature when we think we are not enough.
Present actions are the consequence of past experiences.
If we desire change the simplest way is to do the opposite of what we normally do in the present. The future will then begin to bear fruit of a new consequence.
Today this concept stood confronting me bearing the marks of a Buddhist Abbot Robbed Monk
One of my biggest internal struggles is coming to terms with my own lack of meditation certification to prove to the world my worth written on paper with pen. Yes I have 30 plus years of practice in many meditation and mindfulness traditions and profound self awareness my own trauma and PTSD. But, and there it is the word the negates all else before. ( BUT )
When a Buddhist Monk that was suppose to be my friend and mentor hears I am moving Inner Warrior Spirit to a retreat center in a small town in Northern Washington. He says “ You are a small fish in a desert.”
The first thing I want to do is wear that certification like a cloak concealing myself from the world. Only I have no certification so his comment leaves me naked, exposed, afraid, and grasping for even air to breath. Because my practice and helping the other to their own healing has become my purpose in life. So when the Robbed Buddhist Abbot Monk told me I was a small fish going to the desert.
A part of me died in that very moment.