Small Fish Big Pond

Today this concept stood confronting me bearing the marks of a Buddhist Abbot Robbed Monk
One of my biggest internal struggles is coming to terms with my own lack of meditation certification to prove to the world my worth written on paper with pen. Yes I have 30 plus years of practice in many meditation and mindfulness traditions and profound self awareness my own trauma and PTSD. But, and there it is the word the negates all else before. ( BUT )

When a Buddhist Monk that was suppose to be my friend and mentor hears I am moving Inner Warrior Spirit to a retreat center in a small town in Northern Washington. He says “ You are a small fish in a desert.”

The first thing I want to do is wear that certification like a cloak concealing myself from the world. Only I have no certification so his comment leaves me naked, exposed, afraid, and grasping for even air to breath. Because my practice and helping the other to their own healing has become my purpose in life. So when the Robbed Buddhist Abbot Monk told me I was a small fish going to the desert.

A part of me died in that very moment.

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